I've decided that I am mostly over being with him, but I'm not over being without him. I'm not used to not being in a relationship; I'm not comfortable with being single. I've had feelings, deep feelings, feelings on a regular basis for this one person, and now it's hard to just stop having them. So the tendency is to transfer them instead of bury them. That is, in my opinion, how rebounds happen. I'm hoping that recognizing that fact will help me not to rebound. Not badly, anyway, hah..
The other thing is, God is competing for my attention. Lauren and I have been talking about how we are sick of not being "chased" by the boys we want. But God is definitely chasing me. Reminding me of how he's taking care of me, and of the intimate parts of our relationship. Why is it so hard to give him my everything?
Some days I feel like I have it allll figured out. "Yay, I'm done 'finding myself,'" I say. And then it all falls apart again, because of these silly little things called emotions. But God gave me amazing family and friends to help me through this thing called life. So I know I'll get there. Besides, it's about the journey, not the destination, right?
